Confession of my pain *koq jadi garink*

*i just lost my woodstock hiks...*

Now I know how it feels to be heartbroken .... It hurts ... It hurts alot... n it is worse than having a cut, a bruise or a bump in your head, worse than any headache or tootache n u can't put betadine or ointment on it, u can't plaster it, u can't take panadol and feel better after having a good sleep... and u can go a bit crazy like what u see me writing now hehe... thank God there's still one thing u can do... pray.. He heals ... though it takes a bit of time and effort from yourself i guess...

I always fight for things I believe in.. well, most of the time i must say i did... I didn't let anyone tell me what is right and wrong.. I questioned,and I fought.. stubborn and foolish yeah but i didn't care =P....If you want something, u fight for it..that's what i always thought..u want a relationship to work then u work it out, u fight all the way....I fought hard and I lost... and I blamed myself for not being capable of understanding enough and I blamed him for not fighting hard... at the end I was exhausted, I felt crushed for hoping so much and getting dissapointments in return... hopelessness is just the worst feeling in the world.. and I couldn't help draining all that tears.. 1 litre of tears *it's a movie title btw*.. 2 box of kleenex..as for me I used the toilet roll, cheaper that way =P...It helps to cry really...

But, I have come to learn to accept and still learning I guess.. to accept someone the way they are...to accept that we can't find an answer to everything, at least not one right now.. to accept that you can't always do everything your way even though you think it's the best, the rightest and things could have worked that way...

Tony Parsons said "love means knowing when to let go"...and I'm letting go now..not because I'm sick and tired of it, not because I'm hurt and angry...but because.. I dunno why leh =P... I just know this is the time to let go... to forgive *I hope I'm forgiven too* and to move on....

Now could you pass me that tissue please?.... *snortttttt* =P